Before the Dawn
by PnayBabyGurl
Summary: Life is never fair. They both know that but, even so, they still wish that maybe by some miracle, life would take pity on them and be reasonable – even just this once... because this could be the last chance for them. Ficlet/song-inspired


Woo! My 10th story here and it's a Quogan one. :)

This is the 3rd song fic/ficlet I wrote that was inspired by a random song on my computer. I have never written anything angsty before so I was kind of out of my comfort zone here and constantly felt that their characterizations as adults were off. But this has been sitting in my computer for quite some time now and I felt that since I can't update BL right now, I might as well finish this and post it. Hopefully it isn't too suckish. Practice makes perfect anyway. :)

**Disclaimer:** My name is not Dan Schneider and I do not work for Nickelodeon so I do not own Zoey 101. Not even in the least bit. I also do not own the song _"Before the Dawn"_ sung by Evanescence. See, told you. Nothing at all. :P

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**"Before the Dawn"**

_--Quogan is Love--_

Life is never fair.

They both know that but, even so, they still wish that maybe by some miracle, life would take pity on them and be reasonable – even just this once. This one time is all that counted anyway; all that mattered to them. This could be the last chance for _them_.

After he has made his decision, he text messages her and says to meet him after dark at the place where they first met. Normally, she would be filled with excitement and anticipation; wondering what is the meaning of this sudden and secret rendezvous he's come up with. But this time is different. This time is different because Quinn Pensky knows exactly why her boyfriend Logan Reese asks her to meet up with him at dusk. This time she's feeling more anxious and apprehensive, unable to control her fidgety hands as they twist and rip at the paper napkin in her hands during dinner. Queasiness begins to build within her stomach.

He has decided.

It has been six years since they last stepped foot there but everything still looks the same, everything that is visible to him from the entrance anyway. The stone sign that reads the boarding school's name still has that worn 'For Boys' bronze plaque below it, and below that is the newer one that reads 'And Girls'. That was as close as they could get to the school.

The warmth inside his car doesn't do anything but stifle him so he steps out onto the sidewalk and leans on the passenger's door, waiting for her to arrive, apprehension clutching at his heart. He surveys the quiet darkness of night as a cold breeze passes by. It cools his skin and causes goose bumps to arise, but does nothing to comfort him for what he is about to do. His decision plagues him, repeating in his mind like a broken record, taunting and reminding him of what he will lose this unforgiving chilly night. It's so unfair because either way, he still loses _something_. It's just a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils. Damn Andrea. He clenches his fist and tightens his jaw in anger just by the thought of her. It isn't long until the sound of another car parking behind his and headlights shining on him catch his attention.

She's arrived.

He looks at her face through the windshield behind the driver's wheel before she even unlocks the door and steps out, and he's already begun to relax despite the circumstances. It's an effect she has over him. She steps out and their gazes meet and lock. Her brown bespectacled eyes are filled with anxiety, brows creased and lips quirked up one side in an uncertain, awkward smile. His are torn between a mixture of conflicting emotions: the warmth of love that he gets every time he lays eyes on her, the pull of longing that comes with the physical distance between them, and the sharp suffocating pain of the realization that this may be the last time he will be able to gaze into those warm beautiful eyes ever again. For a few moments both are frozen on the spot, unable to do anything but look at each other. That moment soon ends though when she breaks eye contact first, only to walk around her car to meet him, closing the distance between them by half. What's left over is still too much for him though, so he moves in to close the remaining but stops after two steps, remembering what he came there to do. He can't get too close or he won't achieve his purpose. He feels another sharp stab to his already crumbling heart.

"Hi," she greets softly, avoiding his eyes as she pushes a lock of hair back behind her left ear. The tension and awkwardness rise.

He notices this too and it frustrates him because they are not supposed to be feeling like this. Things were never awkward between them; not after their confessions of love at junior prom. That memory is followed by many others, amplified by the fact that they were back at PCA, and a wave of nostalgia washes over him. How he yearns to be back in high school, back when things were simpler than they are now, back when all they had to worry about was getting caught making out in a janitor's closet or embracing (he's learned what that word means now and it was because of her) behind a bush, or even just playing footsies underneath the table during chemistry class. This is not how things were supposed to be for them.

Again, damn Andrea. Damn her for being so crazily obsessed with him, damn her for being so sneaky and evil, and damn her for using his own father against him. This was not how things were supposed to go. That lunatic wasn't supposed to have an advantage over the Reeses. She wasn't supposed to have the power to manipulate Malcolm Reese by blackmail. She wasn't supposed to force him to ask his own son to sacrifice his own happiness in exchange for Malcolm's freedom. She wasn't supposed to be throwing a party tomorrow, announcing her engagement to Malcolm's one and only son. She wasn't supposed to be Logan's fiancée. She wasn't a lot of things and she wasn't anything to Logan, but most of all… she wasn't the woman he loved.

His hands are in his pockets as he opens his mouth to greet her in the same awkward manner, but instead blurts out in desperation, "Let's elope."

He scraps his initial decision.

This catches her off guard and her eyes widen in shock, mouth slightly agape. She is left momentarily speechless, mind unable to form a proper sentence much less an appropriate reaction. He takes this moment to close the distance between them, something he's been dying to do ever since she stepped out of her car, and holds her hands in his. She stares into his eyes and sees the urgency and seriousness of his request and her thoughts run amok. He was really serious about this.

In Quinn's heart and mind, her instant response is "Yes! Let's do it." To hell with responsibilities and obligations, to hell with the consequences, to hell with caring about other people; they obviously didn't care about either of them if they want to tear their happiness away; tear them away from _each other_. A part of herself, the more rational side, however, reminds her of all the people that will be affected if they made a rash decision such as running away together. Logan's father would be the one mostly affected but in the long run, Logan himself would be too and she couldn't bare that. She is not willing to let Logan ruin his relationship with his own father. She would not carry the burden of a broken family on her conscience. And so, her more rational side wins the fight and she gives Logan a weak smile then lowers her head to look at their intertwined hands and gives them a squeeze. He tightens his hold and squeezes hers in return, anxiously waiting for her answer.

The words are nearly impossible to say but she manages after taking a deep breath. "Baby," she says despondently as she returns her gaze to his, the sting of tears quick to rush to her eyes. "You know we can't."

"Why not?" he questions, brows furrowed. He frowns at her because that was not the response he was hoping for, or expecting. She looks away, unable to bare the look on his face; the hot tears would only be harder for her to fight off. But he doesn't make things any easier for her as he places a finger underneath her chin, gently tilts it up, and urges her to look at him. Quinn succumbs and, with eyes rimmed with unshed tears, looks into the loving eyes of the man she loves.

"Look, trust me, Quinn. It'll work; we'll work this out," he reassures as he stares deeply into her eyes. "We can go home, pack, and be long gone, off to Vegas before the dawn. They won't even know until noon and by then it'll be too late." He pauses, only to caress her cheek and wipe away the first tear that manages to slip down her smooth porcelain skin. More droplets of the salty liquid follow as she stares at him with a shaky melancholy smile. He then continues in a tender whisper, trying to clear a lump in his throat. "_You'll_ be Mrs. Logan Reese before sunset, babe."

Her heart bursts at the thought and more tears trickle down, her cheeks now thoroughly damp. A sob threatens to escape her but she bites down on her lower lip to repress it. She places a hand atop the one softly cupping her cheek and holds it there momentarily, savoring the warmth he gives her, before reluctantly pulling it down to hold it in hers.

"No, Logan," she says softly, shaking her head. Her throat tightens with each word and it increasingly becomes more difficult to keep her voice steady, just as it is to say those words or even to breathe properly. She's never denied him before; not even in high school when he frequently asked her his infamous pick-up line to make out. How could she ever?

But they aren't in high school anymore.

"We can't do th-this to your father. He's depending on you." When she sees him open his mouth to protest she continues, interrupting him before he even gets a word of protest in. "_I_ w-wouldn't be able to live with that on my conscience. Kn-knowing that my father-in-law is in prison because of us…" She pauses to let her words sink in, blinking away more tears and willing them to stop before she loses her composure completely. "Could you?" It's more of a rhetorical question and when he doesn't reply right away, she knows it had the effect she intended it to have.

He remains silent and frozen as his eyes search the depths of hers; not in search of something in_ them_ but more like in himself_ through _them. Could he really turn his back on his own father for her? Could he really let _her_ go and give up everything that they have to save his father? That's exactly what that woman wants. Damn conniving, despicable, heartless bitch. For once, he's thankful that Quinn bought him that 'Learn 365 Words in a Year' mini calendar for his first year of college. He inwardly answers in the negative to both questions and nothing is solved. His heart and mind are torn in two as a war between passion and reason rage within himself, making his chest tighten and exacerbating his anger and frustration.

His thumbs rub her hands as his eyes look at hers solemnly. "I don't love her."

She gives a small short nod then replies softly, "I know."

As some pessimists would say, "you can't have your cake and eat it too." Or were they actually realists? It doesn't matter, that doesn't even make any sense, Logan decides. Screw them and their sayings.

He looks away momentarily and sighs in frustration before meeting her eyes again. His eyes bore into hers. "This isn't fair."

Her heart clutches in pain that moment but her lips twitch into a shaky despondent grin, mostly a reaction to his child like complaint. "Life is never fair, Logan."

Quinn knows what has to be done and knows that Logan does too. So, as much as it pains her, she tries to harden herself and lowers her head, unlaces her fingers from his comforting warm hands, and steps away from him. The cold bites into her and her body is craving for his warmth, but she clutches her hands into fists and resists. Her own body heat is nothing compared to his and she instantly misses the lack of warmth he gives her, inside and out. She bites her quivering lip, trying to suppress her sobs as she wills her frozen feet to move and her heart to stop breaking.

Deep down inside, Logan is aware of what must be done; which way will cause the least pain (though only for people who aren't them), which is the safer road, and what is the selfless course of action. He knows what needs to be sacrificed. It scares him and makes him panic, just as much as it does when she lets go of his hands. But Logan is selfish, always has been almost his entire life. It just became less prominent when he fell for _her_. But the truth is this: Logan _is_ selfish; has always been and always will be. So, he doesn't accept that ridiculous English proverb about eating cakes – not that he truly understood it in the first place anyway – or the fact that there is no other way out of this situation (because a Reese man does not accept defeat without a fight), and takes a step forward. He isn't ready to give up just yet; probably never will be.

The distance he subtracts is more than she put between them, bringing him so close to her that not even half a foot lays between their bodies. She snaps her head up and meets his gaze in surprise, a gasp escaping her lips and a beat skipping in her heart, when his continued efforts at eliminating the distance between them causes her to be crushed against him. Her arms remain still at her sides as his larger ones wrap around her lithe frame, one on her back and the other at the back of her neck. The warmth instantly spreads through her body from head to toe and she finds herself so filled with emotion that she is unable to articulate a single word.

"No. Don't you _dare_ leave me, Quinn Pensky," he demands gruffly with a discreet quiver in his voice. He holds her even tighter to him and buries his nose in the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent that he only knows to be uniquely hers. "Damn it, don't you even _think_ it. Got that?"

That does it for her; she can almost feel the exact moment when her heart shatters into pieces. She can no longer suppress her sobs; a new wave of tears flowing down her cheeks as she clutches onto him as if he were her lifeline. This is the last time they will be able to be this close; the last time she'll feel his warm embrace and feel so safe and loved. She's certain of that because no one has ever shown so much passion to her as Logan has. No one will be able to take his place. So she holds on to him for this one and final time, allowing herself to savor the moment until it's embedded into the depths of her mind. Despite her now stuffed up nose, his scent – that somehow always seems to soothe her – mixed with his intoxicating cologne, penetrates her sense of smell when she rests her forehead at the crook of his neck and she can't help but feel slightly better. She'll never forget that wonderful aroma. But even as they stand there with their arms tightly around one another, even as he strokes her hair and ever-so slightly sways their bodies side to side, even as he softly runs a hand up and down her back, even as he continues to whisper 'don't', and even as her sobs begin to die down, the pain in her chest is not completely soothed.

The reality of their situation comes crashing back down again and Quinn is reminded of the sacrifice that must be done. Gathering what courage and strength she has left in her, Quinn reluctantly loosens her hold on Logan and gently pushes away; despite her about-to-be-ex-boyfriend's protests that causes more tears to spill from her eyes and a choked sob to leave her lips. He refuses to release her but she manages to slip out of his arms and run back towards her car. He moves to run after her, fully intending to block her escape and kiss her like mad until that pesky conscience and voice of reason in her head is silenced… but he doesn't.

She grabs onto the door handle but before she can pull it open, feels the need to pause and look back at Logan – who remains standing across from her vehicle. After taking a couple steps, he stopped. He stopped. His eyes stare into hers, hurt and accusing as a pause of silence passes between them. "You're giving up… just like that?" he asks quietly, incredulously, painfully.

Those words cut through her surprisingly deep, causing her to visibly wince and gasp for air. Her head lowers in shame and regret then rises again to meet his before pulling the car door open, but not stepping inside.

"I'm sorry."

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**Inspired by: **Evanescence's "Before the Dawn" (LOVE that song)

**Word Count:** ~2,843

_"Meet me after dark again and I'll hold you  
I want nothing more than to see you there  
And maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away  
We'll be lost before the dawn"

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**Reviews would be nice.**

I forgot to mention that this was also inspired by this one scene in this teleserye I saw a few months ago. The characters were totally not like Logan and Quinn so maybe that's what was throwing me off. Hopefully they aren't too OOC. That scene just fit the song so well though so I just had to write it out. Oh well, hopefully you guys still enjoyed reading it. If anyone is confused feel free to ask questions in your review. I'll try to reply to them as soon as I can.

Also, I started making a practice video using this song. Nothing much really. I was just trying to see what kind of things I can do with Sony Vegas so not sure if I'll actually upload it. Just thought I'd add that in here. Lol 'kay well, I think that's it. I'm off to get some dinner before work.

Check back on my profile for updates on story progress, news on what's going on with me, etc...

Until next time!

Always, Mina


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